Keeping busy

My days are filled with work and taking care of the elders.. Yes, even though I have made it to the cirlce of the Ubars fires.. I still watch over those funny and loving elderly of our tribe..

I have several project going.. Making Tugs boots.. the saddles for the little girls.. A skirt for Tarra.. and boots for 6th Son. I like to keep busy... There is so much going on around me...

Ash has claimed Silken... I think it will be good for her.. I hope anyway.. The Warrior Hanse also claimed his woman.. I was surprised that Ayg has not done the same yet.. A part of me hopes it will happen soon.. as that will maybe help.

I am in no hurry to mate.. but of course like any other woman I would like to feel a strong warriors embrace.. but hey if it does not happen so be it.. with 7 brothers I am sure there will be lots of babies around eventually..

I need to find and speak to Fonce.. concerning a matter of my father.. On my way to measure 6th sons feet for his new boots, my father found me.... I should have used more common sense.. but I didn't I felt confident over the Ubar's words. I manage get lose before he could really hurt me.. but the edge of his hand caught just the corner of my eye.. I ran like the wind was chasing me.. til I came to the weavers wagon.. She gave me some tea.. but I had distrubed her evening.. and apolgized and left.. heading for the stream...

As I was playing catch with a fish.. a warrior.. Tasco came up suddendly.. and once again the words flowed from my brain and just spurted out of my mouth.. I don't think he was anger.. as he kinda smirked and smiled.. I thought perhaps I should just give up.. and headed to my wagons..

Yet my life is colorful.. even alone in my thoughts.. I can see the colors..

Another Project Done.. and Delivered

I worked on the things Cana needed... the saddles were nearly done... but not needed just yet... but the boots for the little girls.. they were done... each made with a very soft piece of leather.. the ankels were strenghtened.. and a tiny heel on each.. On the top of each she had carved in the leather a tiny butterfly. and then dyed one blue and one yellow... So Cana could tell them apart.. The boys.. well their boots were fine for now.. except for Tugs.. he would need to have a new pair.. with in the time it took to make them... She would find Cana to bring her the boots..

She also repaired the weavers reins.. there was not much that needed to be done... there was a split.. and she would repair that... and give them a nice coating of oil. making them look all shiny and new..

She would work on the saddles next.. and then on to a project that Tarra has asked for.. Busy busy.. just like she liked it.

What is Love

To Me

I guess I never really sat down and thought about what love really is..or what it means to be in love.. but.. with the events past.. I think I may have some idea.. Its not enough to just say you love someone... you have to show them.. even the hard headed ones.. have to sometimes be guided.. Like Seve.. I think she gave the utlimate gift of love.. for her that is.. :grins: and I think Fonce.. whether he realized it or not gave one back to her with her freedom..

If you could have seen the drummers face when he spotted Jaella.. you would have understood his love for her.. and hers for him...

If you could see how Cana struggles every day with her thoughts of her mate.. you would understand..

If one could crawl into Tarra's heart after her mate departed for the cities of dust.. you would understand..

There are many kinds of love I have found.. love of family.. friends.. love of our home.. even to an extent slaves might love.. that I am not sure about. I think they have to or something like that..

To see a father with his child... :not mine of course unless its one of my brothers: Taidjun with his daughters... there is love there..

There is love of position... of things.. those are selfish loves I think.. Because positions can be lost.. things taken and destroyed..

No I think love to me is.. hmmmm

I still don't know.. maybe one day I will.

The Dream

My brothers had kept telling me that father was looking for me. What could he possible want.. I avoid him at all costs.. I just do not want to find out... He reminds me a little of Seve's Uncle.. except my father is much more deceiving... His smile usually means pain... and its more than likly I am attatched to the end of that pain..

I tried to put it out of my mind as I finally found my furs... I had not dreamed for a while. so I assumed that what ever was causing them had passed to another.. But I was wrong...

It started out safe enough.. I had gone looking for my Mother.. since she was forbidden to come see me... I worried so about her.. She was delicate.. not wimpy just delicate.. small like me.. Anyway.. I could not find her anywhere.. I asked around the wagons of my parents.. and people seemed to shy away from me... they could not look at me.. Something was very wrong... Where was my mother? I even asked the old grandmother Madga that was staying at my parents wagon.. I could see fear in her old eyes.. as she looked at her gnarled hands.. I could see she wanted to tell me something.. but would not.. Where is my Mother! :I demanded from her: Where is she... when a very sick feeling entered my entire being... I wanted to shake her.. tell. me... all she would do is point towards the plains... .. Oh she went riding?... That seemed safe enough..

I took off.. but it seemed in my dream I was moving so slow... so very slow... I walked and walked til I came to the herds.. I called out her name... waiting for an answer.. but I could hear nothing... Just the odd herlit or two. or the cry of a baby bosk... I should have seen her.. she would not go past the herds... I stood on a rock.. and could see a rider in the distance.. I headed that way... hiding in the tall grass as I was not sure who it was.. As I got closer, I could see it was my father... I stayed hidden until he was well past me.... He had my mothers kailla with him... which was odd.. where was my mother? I started to run.. my heart was throbbing inside... I was not sure what I would find... as I got closer.. so did the sleen... then I could smell it.. that rusty scent of blood... NO! I screamed as I ran closer... I dropped to my knees.. my mother.. covered in her own blood... but her heart still bleed.. her face battered and bruised.. he had beaten her and left her for dead... She opened one swollen eye as best she could... Yamka.. :she whispered: I am here mother... I am here.... I will make you better... I could see a faint smile... He did this! He did this to you because of me!.. I will kill him... I swear to you mother.... Her voice husky almost a whisper.. No Yamka... let your brothers handle this.. I quickly gathered her in my arms... I did not know which way to move... and then..

I woke... covered in a sweet sweat..and blood on my hands... I sat up on my furs.. shivering... Tears ran down my cheeks.... He was going to hurt my mother.. I had to warn her somehow.. I had to find a way.... As I normally do.. I got dressed and rode out to my spot near the herds. and just sat and watched... Maybe it was the event with Seve's uncle that prompted this dream.. I am not sure... Its been so tense.. and so unsettling around the fires these last few hands...

I will not bother Fonce.. he has so much on his shoulders right now... I will just try and erase this dream from my thoughts... I will bring my mother to my wagons.. let him try and get her then... I would gladly draw my quiva... I think..

Ups and Downs

Ups and Downs had been busy... oh very busy it seems.. as one morning as I stumbled out of my wagon.. hearing the oddest of noises... I did not see anything yet I could here this quiet little mewing noise.. What the hell was that and where was it coming from...

I search around the wagon. and finally crouched down.. and there.. was Downs.. with tiny babies... and Ups standing there looking like.. Oh hell what happened here...

Now I have 5 verr.. I think I will give one to Seve... she needs a verr... a little female ... The pretty white and brown one.. The other two are a male and female.. I think I will name damn Opps and Utoh.. Cause thats what Ups looks like..

I suspose with all the tension around the camp.. this was a nice change.. I sat on the soft grass and just watched them... Ups stood next to me.. nudging me with his head almost like saying.. Lookie what I did... I stroked his soft head.. Saying... I see what you did... I see.. I had to almost laugh.. that while my life has taken a solitude of sorts.. Here my verrs were growing in leaps and bounds..

I think I might find my way to the outer wagons today.. I would like to see how Qora liked her dress.. Maybe I will take some honeycandies to the girls.. Maybe Taid might even be there.. Who knows... He is a good warrior and father.. His girls are very lucky.

Unwanted Truth

I was sitting at the stream.. throwing pebbles into the water watching them ripple thinking how life is like a vast amounts of pebbles.. and everything we do causes some kind of effect.. good or bad.. when Seve arrived.. and sat near me with her appointed guards...

We talked on the surface... and then I asked her...Did you find Yew? No she had not but she keep looking.. I had no proof.. no evidence of his demise.. just a feeling deep inside... Her Uncle had destroy almost all her things that meant anything to her.. he had been seen taking Yew to the plains.. it did not take much to figure what else had happened.. but I told her.. I was not sure.. so that she did not lose all hope.. but deep inside I think she knew... she just did not want to accept it.. Yew rode the winds with those warriors that had past to the cities of dust..

I told her Yew was part of her past. and she was no longer that young woman.. It was time to move ahead and not look back.. I could see she was trying to deny it... but I think she knew.. she had always known..

Her Uncle arrived.. If there was ever a man that had a deceiving smile it was him.. Yes he smiled at us.. as I scooted her behind me.. and closer to her guards... I watched him.. as if willing him to try something... just do it.. He would never get close enough to Seve... never again... he gave up that right when he destroyed her.. As I watched her.. you could see the her face pale.. the fear and angry and yes maybe a little hate fill her eyes.. those tear filled eyes.. I told her she did not have to stay if she did not want to....

We both left.. It was best that way.. for everyone

Cana's Kids

It was time for the little girls to have boots made.. and also to check the boys.. and see how they are doing.. Boys seemed to wear boots out more than girls... Cana also asked me to make 2 small saddles for the girls.. Once I have this other work done I can begin on that..

I had finished the order that Taidjun the hunter asked for.. And bright and early I headed for Cana's wagons... Luckly the boys were outside... and I gathered then around to measure their feet.. Seems Tugs feet are growing leaps and bounds. and he would need a new pair of boots.. The other boys feet were also growing.. How I envied Cana... all these children... While I never said anything.. I would like to have a gagle of children one day.. Who knows it may happen.. I do not ever count on anything though.. Its not up to me..

The babies.. were brought out.. and Cana was right.. while they were identical.. you could see little personalities already forming... I measured their feet.. and played with them for a little bit... I had every thing I needed... And I thanked the slave for helping me with this task... I gave her the pot of sweetened cream that my mother had prepared for me... and a bowl of berries that I had gathered that morning... It would be a nice treat for later for the children.. I hated to leave.. I was having such a good time.. but I had so many thing to get done... Seems I am always busy... and that is a good thing..