A Drink of Cool water

Words of a Warrior

He found me in my normal spot.. near the herds.. He had his new sleen Runt with him.. Why is it I always seem to loose my voice when he is around.. I can not find the words I really want to say and end up saying nothing..

He told me a story of a good mate.. and as I looked into that make believe mirror.. I thought I saw myself.. a herlit.. a sleen and a kailla.. I think I went back to my wagons thinking very hard on his words.. I understood them.. I wanted them.. and I wanted much much more.

Two Peas in a Pod but are we really?.. Seve has moved forward in her life. While I am still paddling to stay afloat.. Things said sail past my head at times.. and I can not catch everything.. Seve has found the sensual part of herself.. the desires a mate and all the trimmings.. I am still trying to find that part of me.. I wonder does it even exist?

I don't ask her to come on my short adventures very often.. Why get the both us in trouble.. She has much more to lose than I certainly do.. But there is a part of me that wants to be more flirty.. more open.. but I keep my guard up all the time.. even when I try to remove it.. one thing is said or done and its back in place.

She did manage to find me the other night... at the stream.. I was thinking.. and trying to foget what had happened with Kam at the main fires. I was trying to figure out what horrible thing I had done to have him throw his lance at my feet..but I gave up trying..

But we were two peas in a pod at one time.. and I shall treasure those times in my memories..

Where Did You Come From?

I was about to make my way back from the herds.. when I saw something move in the tall grass.. I stood there watching to see what the heck it was.. when out popped a small boy.. He was between me and a large bull bosk.. so moved slowly towards him. not to startle the bull.. When I got close enough I scooped him up and carried him far enough away from the bull.

I did not reconize him.. must be a little one from the outerwagons.. I got down to his level.. So how who are you and where did you come from? He looked at me with those large dark eyes.. and pointed towards the outerwagons.. He looked at me so seriously.. as he said he was called Thirsty... I tried not to chuckle.. as he went on: Momma calls me Thirsty :he took a deep breath: cuz I like to dink water alls the time.. :he then smiled up at me: So where are you parents now? I thought and why is he out here all alone?

He puffed out his chest.. and then crossed his arms.. :Theys losted.. Well that made my brow rise as I looked down at him.. So do you know where you wagon is?

He smiled at me and nodded: Mes not losted theys are.. So I hoisted up on Cloud and I got up behind him.. and said led on oh little warrior... a grin to my face..

So off we went.. when we got closer to those wagons.. I stopped Cloud and slid off.. and plucked him down.. Well there are thousands of wagons.. but he seemed to know where he was going as he slid his small hand into mine and tugged me along a well worn path.. Probably how he found himself out in the herds.

As we got closer you could see that something was out of place.. people were running around... looking under wagons.. and then I heard his name being called.. he grinned up at me and exclaimed: "Thats me! I am Thirsty.. .. a quick nod of my head as we moved closer.. I could see a young woman fretting near her wagon. a warrior rubbing his temples.. as he broke loose from my hand and ran towards them.. He looked back at me and yelled.. We founded them! I walked towards the parents.. as the father picked up his son and flung him around in the air.. Thirsty where have you been? I stopped not far from their wagon.. as the little boy explained he was looking for them all over the place and that this lady :he pointed to me: brought him back here.

The warrior walked towards me.. a wide grin to his face as he explained. the he and his mate.. seemed to get lost quite abit.. and Thirsty has to go looking for them.. I understood perfectly.. Well I am glad he found you... He was this close to being walked over by a large bull.. The warrior and his mate thanked me.. and I turned and headed back to the beast.. I felt a slight bump that nearly knocked me forward.. when I felt those small hands wrapped around my knees..He looked at me so seriously. You can come help me find my mama and da anytime... I ruffled his hair and gave him a smile.. Why little warrior I would be most honored to come on your search adventures.. He gave me a nod and ran back to his parents.. I noticed his boots and made note to get a new pair sent to his wagons..

Emotional Breakdown

With everything that has been going on my mind is just a tumble mass of emotions that range from anger to lust to fear to courage.. I am a slave to my thoughts.. and I have to control each one to stay afloat..

I looked at my family and I find the courage to carry on day to day.. to always prove where my heart lies.. Ayg and I finally buried the hacket as they say.. and what ever line I had drawn between Mezoo and myself has vanished... I am angry over the actions of those I call family.. I find myself thinking of Tasco and a tiny bit if lust creaps into my thoughts.. and that causes fear that I might overstep.. Now that I would ever have the chance.. Each time we are around each other I can feel the tension of something.. and then a distraction appears.... My reaction is to step back.. Its what I do the best..

I am frustrated that things between Seve and Fonce have not been seen by others.. I am not sure why.. are people blind not to see there is a bright light that glows when they are with each other? Does someone need a pot upside the head?

Love.. an over used and overrated word.. its an emotion that fills everyone a differnt way and is shown in their own fashion... What is love to me.. might not be the same for you.. Love... what it is anyway

The desire to be with someone.. the desire to spend the energy to get to know them. to touch their minds and hearts... To know that if you close your eyes.. you can feel them inside you.. touching without touching..

Love is what you want it to be..

Love is the taste of warm honey running down your chin.. your tongue darting out to capture it.. Love is sharing a sweet with a friend.. a chaste kiss.. a touch of a warm hand.. its not tangible.. You can not measure it.. You can only feel it..

Which way?

I was a comfort to have my mother near my wagons again. I really needed to talk to someone.. Someone I trusted.. So we sat on the step of her wagon and we talked about life and warriors... love and mistrust..

I told her about Tasco and how we met.. and talked. We spoke about feelings and how sometimes people will walk all over others to get what they want.. I nodded.. as I spoke softly: Everything time Tasco gets near. Asria appears.. I want to get to know him.. but I am afraid she is overpowering.. I can not get a word in edgewise.. she feeds him every night.. not sure what else she does.. Seems when we do have a moment to speak she wants to take him off to speak to him..

My mother patted my hand and smiled..and spoke in a gentle tone: Yamka. those kind of women sometimes get what they want and more than they asked for.. They smile to your face then do all they can to cause strife and discord.. My advice to you is to told true to yourself.. Do not fall into her game.. for then you look foolish.. If this warrior has any mettle in him, he will see right through her.. This is the same women you told me was after the warrior Fonce? :I nodded my head: Yes.. and the moment she saw Tasco she made it a point to chase after him.. I will not chase Mother.. its not me.. If what I am is not good enough then he is not the warrior for me. :I leaned forward on my elbows.. and looked at her: I like this warrior Mother.. I want to get to know him... his likes his dislikes.. his thoughts how he feels... but I feel it drifting further and further away.. How do you come close to showing someone how you feel or are.. when there are distractions.. always distractions..

I am not sure if the tears started after or before I spoke.. but I know a few ran down my cheeks... Is it always this way Mother.. is it always this hard? She wiped my tears.. and smiled as she hugged me close.. Yes.. its always this hard.. life is hard and there are many kinds of people to deal with.. and some just not as nice as others.. Just be yourself... and do not fall into her trap.. or any traps set before you.. Some you think are friends. lie in wait for you to make a mistake.. so they can throw it back to you. Do your work. keep your nose clean.. and everything should be alright.

When did you Change?

How did I miss it?

I dont know when exactly it happened.. maybe when she gave up all she was to show Fonce how much she meant her words.. maybe it was when she was freed.. I am not sure... but slowly right beneath my own eyes she changed.. The carefree spirit that made up my friend somehow let the adult move ahead of it... The same thing happened with Mezoo.. her demeanor changed also when a man became a part of her life..

I don't want to change.. give up that little bit of freedom to soar with the clouds. when I want to... to adventure.. to be what I am.. I think I always knew she would change.. I am happy for her and Mezoo.. do not misunderstand me.. but I am curious as I watch them interact with their loves.. Its almost like watching a piece of clay form itself to what the man desires. I have to wonder if this is not a defeat in a way.. for wasn't that little bit of herself that attracted him in the first place?

I do not see any compromise on the side of the male.. I do not see them changing forming into what the woman desires...maybe they are not suspose to. I really do not know..

What I do know is I miss Seve.. We will always be friends.. but I understand our time of adventures is over.. that she has to act a certain way now.. She will teeter on the edge of adventures.. but never will she jump in with that carefree spirit again..

I suspose one day I will have to stop my adventures.. until that time...