Getting Ready

I had visited Magda as I had promised..my brother Sam when with me.. he fixed one of her wagon wheels.. and did a few odds and ends.. She tried to smack him with her stick when he tried to move her.. He caught her stick mid swat.. And looked at her.. Old Woman.. why is it you have to hit people with that stick... And she replied "Because I am old and I can.. I swear she gave him some kind of evil eye look.. And there there was that odd silence. and then it came.. the all knowing :grunt: from my eldest brother..

Anyway.. we made sure she was all taken care of.. She gave me a hug.. and a look to my brother. as we both headed down the wagon row.. Sam gave me a big kurr hug.. and headed to my mothers wagon... it was time to eat after all.. I, on the other hand had to get my own wagon ready for the move.. Grease the axels and all that kind of stuff.. I also veered my way past the large Ubars wagon.... I did not wish to be painted blue today..

Once I was done.. I headed to the streams.. for a nice cool bath.. There is a secret spot that someone created... it deeps down in a small gulley and makes a nice pool.. So I stripped off everything.. and walked into the water.. Good grief! it was cold.. everything seemed to pop up and out.. as my warm hands quickly rubbed my arms.. the cold bumps were starting everywhere... so I figured ahh heck.. and I just dunked myself.. I ran a slender hand over my shoulder.. I could feel the scars from the whip.. as memories of what seemed so long ago darted out of my mind... I remember getting each strip.. When I was 6 summers.. I painted the inside of my parents wagon... I got 1 strip for that... When I was 9 I followed my brothers to the herds and was nearly tramped.. if not for Sam.. I would be a squished tuchuk.. I got 3 strips for that one.. I got various other ones for disobeying.. talking back... not being quick enough... As I got older they became harsher.. When I was 16 I was whipped for not coming home in time to help my mother with the evening meal.. And once I was sent to the 1st Fires.. I was given a few more ... But now my father is proud of me.. so the whippings have stopped... Thankfully so.. I am not sure there is much room left for more strips.. But the water did start to feel good against my bare skin.. I sorta looked down at myself.. I was not in bad shape.. my stomach was small.. and so were my hips.. and pretty much everything else... but I was not boy like.. just small.. nothing wrong with that... Even though my brothers say that warriors want a woman with some meat on her bones.. Its not for a lack of trying. I like to eat... I just stay small.. I got the soap that one of my brothers brought back from a merchant raid... it smelled kinda nice.. not flowerly but better than the leather oil I use everyday.. I washed my hair in it... and then dipped under the water to rinse off the suds...

I grabbed a really big and long soft cloth.. and dried off.. and wrapped it around me.. as I sat on the bank and brushed out my hair.. My mother did not believe in cutting a womans hair... so mine had almost 20 summers to grow... it was something I was very proud of.. I put a little bit of oil on my hands.. and slowly massaged it into my hair, then brushed it out.. and finally braided it.. I tied the leather strap around the end, wrapping it several times around.. and then tucking the end inside..

Clean leathers were pulled on.. and my boots.. before heading back to my own wagon... I made some of my milk blackwine.. and got a bowl of stew.. and sat on my step... it was a quiet night.. most were getting ready for the move I am sure.. I took advantage of the quite to reflect on what was important to me..

The Old Woman Magda

I ran to her wagon.. but I could not find her anywhere.. until I hear her soft cries.. and there she was.. I nearly fell over her.. She was laying on her side.. the stick grasped firmly in her gnarled hand.. I asked her if she was hurt.. as I knelt down next to her.. And then it happened.. she smacked me right on the head with that stick.. I jumped up and rubbed my head a few hundred times.. and said.. "what did you do that for?" The Old woman looked up at me with those glassy dark eyes.. "Thief!" she cried and tried to smack me again.. I backed up.. almost knocking over the pot of stew.. Now hold on here.. I am not a theif.. I am Yamka.. I brought you some stew and bread.. She looked up at me with those old sad eyes... "Help an old woman up so that I can get a better look at you" So I said .. are ya gonna hit me again with that stick? :she chuckled" "No"

So I gave her a hand up.. and brushed her off.. and asked what had happened... She began to tell me her tale.. Evidently she noticed a tear in her wagon tarp.. and was trying to fix it herself when she lost her balance and fell.. Her muted cries had gone unheard, since most stay away from her wagons cause of that stick you see... I lead her to the step of her wagon... and checked her out.. making sure there were no broken bones.. or bleeding anywhere.. She had a nasty bump on her forehead. and she is gonna be sore and bruised, but all in all she seemed fine..

I filled a bowl with some stew for her.. and broke off a piece of bread.. and sat while she ate.. She sees to have all her teeth... and was making some odd smacking noises as she ate.. but she emptied that bowl and asked for another... Always a good sign. I had nothing to do really and she was my project of sorts.. plus it kept me one day further away from being painted blue.. so I stayed and visited with her for a while.. She told me her mate had been a lower commander under Blood.. now that was way before I was born. but I had heard of him... She had 4 sons.. all gone now.. as was her
I asked who took care of her.... she said some OR brought her meat once in a while.. None of her sons ever lived long enough to mate.. so she was really alone... Which got me to thinking.. I would ask my brothers to take her on as a grandma of sorts.. While she ate her 2nd bowl of stew.. I got to fixing that rip in her tarp.. and checked her wagon out for anything else that might need to be fixed.. We were moving soon and her wagon needed some minor repairs.. Maybe my brothers could spare some time.. and come do some things.. I will ask if one of them could drive her wagon during the move.. She should not have to do that..

And Cana was right... she had been a leather worker.. before her hands got all gnaled up and her eyesight left her.. but I bet there were still some things she could teach me.. And so I would make sure I visited her often.. I called a girl over.. and had her quickly do a once over inside the womans wagon.. and made sure she had clean furs to sleep on.. Her water barrel was filled with fresh water.. and dung that had been collected was brought over.. and I hung it on a peg on the side of her water... I would make sure each morning I came and got her fire started..

As all these things were being done.. I glanced to the old woman and I could see tears filling her eyes.. If I could do one thing for this tribe.. just one thing.. for one person.. it made me feel good inside.. She looked at me.. and curled a finger towards me.. I headed on over to her.. and sat on the step.. "Child.. why would you do this for me? So I smiled and hugged the old woman.. You are tuchuk.. I am tuchuk.. We are family.. My hands are young.. my back is young.. and its time for you to sit and watch.. just this once.. She told me her name was Magda.. It was time for me to get back to my own wagon... And so I stood... she looked at me and said quietly: "Will you come visit me again?... and my reply was.. I will be here everyday to visit you..

Paint me Blue?

I had been so busy I had not been to the fires in many nights.. And then there was the odd skies.. that only I had seem to be seeing.. But last night I had seen the stars in the sky and my mood lightened.. So I headed to the fires of the 1st wagons..

Cana and her mate were there with the babies, and so was Ayg.. he had a baby in his arms.. He looked very natural.. you know he is not hard on the eyes.. He would make a fine mate to someone one day.. He needs to hurry thought.. he is getting old..

The Ubar has decided that I am to be painted blue.. I am not sure why.. He wanted to paint his daughter but I think Cana put a stop to that.. So I guess he has now decided that I am to be painted.. I am not exactly sure why. but he is the Ubar.. if he wants to paint me blue there is really nothing I can do about it.. I hope its a nice shade of blue.. I did mention I did not think I wanted to be painted.. so at least he knew I was not really looking forward to it..

Cana said that the warrior Brayce had left the tribe again and mated some woman in a city ... I am so thankful.. What if he had claimed me and then wanted to leave the tribe.. He would have been leaving alone.. I will never leave the tribe or the plains..

My brother Ord has finally gotten permission to claim the young woman of the next wagons.. Samie is her name.. She is ok I suspose.. but to willing to do anything my brother says.. I bet if he told her to jump in the cold stream she would... Boring!... where is the excitement... Yes Ord.. No Ord Yes Ord.. No Ord.. Well if that is what she wants I suspose it works for them... I think it will be a very boring life.. Never having the unexpected happen.. I bet she will give him many sons... Anyway I am helping Mother prepare a feast for the outer wagons.. It is my first brother to mate.. and if I know my other brothers well enough the last for a long while... My other brothers seem to like the slaves more than the women that trail after them.. I am still waiting to have my boots knocked off by some warrior.. I am not actively looking at any warriors.. I guess thats the best way to be.. There are a couple that I do like and would not mind being mated to..but so far they have not taken any notice of me..

This morning I head to the old womans wagon.. Cana and I had spoken about her last night.. She is the one that carries a large stick and swats anyone she wants with it.. I had a pot of fresh made stew from my mothers fires with me and a loaf of bread and some of my mothers honeycookies..

As I venture closer to her wagon.. there were signs that she had been doing some swatting last night... I grew concerned when I saw her wagon was still.. in poor shape.. it looked like someone had ... oh no.... I put the stew pot down and the other things.. and ran towards her wagon.. and Called out.. Old Woman!.. Old Woman!

Nytemares

The last few days have been confusing... I had not really slept peacefully.. when I look to the skies its black.. I can see swirls of clouds.. that seem to form a cloak around the brightest of stars.. I have never witnesses the skies looking so dismal before.. I visited my Mother and told of it it..and she looked at me like I had 2 heads.. for she had not seen that bleakness that I had seen... she said the stars seem brighter to her than most nights.

This bewidlered me.. for I had not seen what seen what she had.. its the same sky.. I mean there is only one sky.. so what was it I had been viewing the last hand or so..

It was like a nothingness was incasing my world.. my pretty innocent world was being surrounded by black skies and grey clouds.. I had done something wrong.. offended someone.. had they betwixed me? Or was it something more.. I felt a chill that ran down my spine.. and it was not a nice feeling... it was like when you hear someone has died.. and it was someone you knew... It was a sadness that you could not describe.. but you knew it was there...

Maybe this was the end of my life and beginning of another one... Perhaps it was just the change from being so innocent to what life was really like... So many things have been said lately about how I need to step out on my own.. Maybe my mind is showing me that everything is not all sugar and spice.. and that there is a certain bleakness that can form when you are scared.. Maybe its just an omen... that I should I listened to when I was told by the old spex Harold not to dream so much.. and look at the skies.. maybe its punishment for disobeying..

But no it can't be.. is this what life really is like? Dark and forboding?.. Is this what happens when a butterfly is trapped in a web? Maybe if I close my eyes it will all be as it was... so I did..

I closed them tight.. and looked up to the skies.. and then opened them... I screamed at what I saw... I could feel the tears run down my cheeks... I could never tell anyone.. every what I saw this night... oh the blood.. I look at the ground... its everywhere... and I am standing inside a puddle of blood... I close my eyes once again... and slow my breathing... and pray when I open then it will be as it once was... but now I am afraid to open my eyes...

Pattterns in the Sky

It was so very late.. but I could not sleep... so I took one of my smaller furs and put my jacket on and headed to the little grassy knoll behind the first wagons... There I made a spot for myself.. and leaned back to watch the skies...

If you squint your eyes just so.. its possible to see between the stars... I can see the past by the story the sky tells.... I can see the bosk.. moving slowly as they graze.. the camp sleen guarding the herds... The OR standing guard... their majestic beasts.. large and deadly.. I can see the raids.. the births of babies...

If you sit quietly enough you can hear the sounds of the bosk.. the slight trembling of the earth as they move. You can hear the gentle sweep of the herlits wings.. as they soar across the nights sky.. I looke straight up.. and there is one star that seems to be winking at me... I stare at it for a long while... and one can almost make a shape out of it... Perhaps its my grandfather.. or maybe my grandmother... maybe some ancient ancestor.. It can really be what ever my mind makes of it... Another star over there... looks like a mother craddling her child.. with many children at her feet.. Perhaps thats the future... young to replace the old that have sent their spirits to ride with the dust warriors...

This is my place.. where can let my mind wander.. I have dwelled on things that Cana and Tarra said.. I have found that their words have rung true... My mother kept me behind her for such a long time.. never letting go of my youth, that now I stumble with immaturity.. It is time to grow up... but not loose that child like view of the world.. I do not wish to be hard and worn.. but to see things with a new light as if its the first time all the time... Never to lose the freshness of a sunset... or the colors of the sunrise... to take each day with a smile...

I am not so naive that I do not know how people see me... But this is what I am.. I think if I try to pretend I have layers of intricate patterns to weave into something thats not there.. I will lose myself and be caught in that spiders web..

I stand up and spread my arms... and slowly dance in a circle on my grassy knoll.. I sing a little off key about the wonders of being a tuchuk... I think the bosk are about to stampede... as I lower my voice.. to just a hushed whisper..

"Here I am... see me? I am Yamka.. I am here...

I am a Tuchuk... I am I am

See me.. I am Yamka.. catch me if you can...

I burst out laughing.. as I lower back down to the knoll.... to sleep under the stars of the sky.. it does not get much better than this... I throw the fur around my shoulders... and draw my knees to my chin... resting my cheek against the soft leather of my skirt.. I lull myself to sleep...

Caught in the Act

As I was leaving Fonce's steps he arrived.. So we had our little chat.. and I gave him the butterfly. We talk a lttle.. about somethings.. That I won't got into detail about here.. Soon Silken arrived.. and it was time for me to head out.. I had promised my mother I would be there..

A Note Left.

I had worked most the day at the clan fires.. before taking a walk.. I would walk now as I no longer had a beast to get me from here to there. But I liked to walk.. it was good for the soul.

Along the way I stopped to talk to an old woman... She needed some help moving her large pot and so I took some time.. and talked with her.. helping her along the way.. She said this was her 76th move with the tribe... I could see the age not on her face but in her eyes.. Yet her spirits were high and she still had her wits about her.. and humor.. She asked who my parents were and what they did.. she knew my grandparents.. and said I reminded her of my grandmother.. I was not sure that was a good or bad thing.. as the old woman grinned at me.. her hand was soft as she patted my cheek.. then pinced it.. Why do elder people do that? Ah well.. I excused myself.. and headed off towards the main wagons.. I was on a mission of sorts.. I had something on my mind for days now.. but had not seen Fonce to tell him.. I had a note.. not that I could write all that well.. but I knew some letters. but I hope more that he would understand the gift.. I had sat at the back of the clan wagons.. and worked on a small symbol of what we had talked about at the fires one day.. I had taken peices of silk.. of various colors.. and sewed them into a leather form.. It was fragil yet showed the strength of the leather.. To me a butterfly represented freedom.. and so as I slowly printed out the letters to spell.. "it does matter". I attached it to the tail of the butterfly and left it on the flap of his wagon.. I did not hear anything from inside his wagon.. so with it left where he would find it.. I headed off towards my parents wagon.. As I had promised my mother I would have stew with them..

It had been an interesting day.. its an interesting life..