Pattterns in the Sky

It was so very late.. but I could not sleep... so I took one of my smaller furs and put my jacket on and headed to the little grassy knoll behind the first wagons... There I made a spot for myself.. and leaned back to watch the skies...

If you squint your eyes just so.. its possible to see between the stars... I can see the past by the story the sky tells.... I can see the bosk.. moving slowly as they graze.. the camp sleen guarding the herds... The OR standing guard... their majestic beasts.. large and deadly.. I can see the raids.. the births of babies...

If you sit quietly enough you can hear the sounds of the bosk.. the slight trembling of the earth as they move. You can hear the gentle sweep of the herlits wings.. as they soar across the nights sky.. I looke straight up.. and there is one star that seems to be winking at me... I stare at it for a long while... and one can almost make a shape out of it... Perhaps its my grandfather.. or maybe my grandmother... maybe some ancient ancestor.. It can really be what ever my mind makes of it... Another star over there... looks like a mother craddling her child.. with many children at her feet.. Perhaps thats the future... young to replace the old that have sent their spirits to ride with the dust warriors...

This is my place.. where can let my mind wander.. I have dwelled on things that Cana and Tarra said.. I have found that their words have rung true... My mother kept me behind her for such a long time.. never letting go of my youth, that now I stumble with immaturity.. It is time to grow up... but not loose that child like view of the world.. I do not wish to be hard and worn.. but to see things with a new light as if its the first time all the time... Never to lose the freshness of a sunset... or the colors of the sunrise... to take each day with a smile...

I am not so naive that I do not know how people see me... But this is what I am.. I think if I try to pretend I have layers of intricate patterns to weave into something thats not there.. I will lose myself and be caught in that spiders web..

I stand up and spread my arms... and slowly dance in a circle on my grassy knoll.. I sing a little off key about the wonders of being a tuchuk... I think the bosk are about to stampede... as I lower my voice.. to just a hushed whisper..

"Here I am... see me? I am Yamka.. I am here...

I am a Tuchuk... I am I am

See me.. I am Yamka.. catch me if you can...

I burst out laughing.. as I lower back down to the knoll.... to sleep under the stars of the sky.. it does not get much better than this... I throw the fur around my shoulders... and draw my knees to my chin... resting my cheek against the soft leather of my skirt.. I lull myself to sleep...