Overwhelmed

After I got Eliza bedded back down. I went and sat on the step of my wagon.. It really was not my wagon.. Cana had loaned it to me while I tried to make my way to the 1st circle.. but for now it was mine... I felt a rush of thoughts and it just seemed to overwhelm my simple mind.. As I glanced over the other wagons.. I took assesment of what I was and what I held dear to me.. And something deep inside screamed out and covered every part of my being.. Who are you Yamka?

I had no answers to give.. somewhere in trying to find my place I lost myself.. Now how did that happen... Here I was almost 20 summers.. and what had I accomplished? Now very damn much in my minds eye.. Shadowed by my family, my brothers.. kept behind for what purpose.. What were my parents thinking? Were they afraid I would run fast like the wind and their last child would leave the nest?

Now what is it that I want... what purpose do I serve? All questions I have been asking myself the last few hands.. And I am no longer sure.. I thought I knew.. I thought I had it all figured out.. but I was wrong.. How odd to feel like you are in a large bubble.. and you can not get out and no one can get in.. and you scream but no one can hear you.. Yes a bubble of sorts.. Oh sure its not a real bubble.. but one that grows around you when you start to feel out of step..

Ok ok now stop... think. what are you good at? Leatherworking.. now did you now make Cana a dress she adored? Did the warrior not approved of your leathers and boots for his son? I smack myself on the head.. what is your main malfuntion? Stop questioning your worth.. Its like Cana and Tarra said everyone is part of a chain.. your are just one of thousands of links.. but without you the chain would be broken..

Am I talking to myself? .. Skies I just answered myself.

I stand up on my wagon step and hollar to the skies.. I AM YAMKA!.. Tuchuk! . Catch me if you can!