I am sure I am not different than any other woman.. and I am sure my heart will be broken over and over again.. But deep down I knew.. I guess I always knew.. he seems me as a friend... :shrugged: I do not see it that way.. I feel really really stupid actually.. I knew I should have never said anything to him at all.. but I guess he really did not matter to him that I was offering my heart when he was offering me a slug in the arm like you do to a buddy.. Does he even know what he did? Probably not.. does it matter to him.. probably not.. so.. how do you go on.. How do you act like it does not matter.. like who cares.. I can try to avoid him most the time.. and definately avoid him when his eyes look like the two moons over the skies...
A trust has been broken.. a betrayal at hand.. and who sits at the bottom of the pile feeling like a herd of bosk ran over her? Me.. I am so hurt so confused angry sad.. ready to punch the next person that says you are a sweet young woman!.. but hey I just want to be your friend...
So the answer to how you mend a broken heart.. is rip it out and stomp on it.. cause thats what has happened to me.. No heart no hurt.. very simple.. Is this going to change me? Oh probably.. I will not trust anyone for a long time.. I found out through all this there is no fairness.. and there are no friends when it comes to men..
Now we get on with our life... we move onward.. Oh and one more thing.. Once I get my beast.. there will be no stopping me... I have my brothers... thankfully I have not told them anything.. They may pick on me and tease me.. but they love me... and anyone that hurts me in any way shape or form is on their chit list.. So for the safetly of all.. I am not telling them or my parents... Its a part of growing up I suspose.. I just did not know that this part hurt..
So now that the brave and couragious Yamka has spoken all her words.. those big words.. so brave is she... and where do we find her? This strong woman of the plains... Let me show you.... there she is...sitting with her goats.. the ones he gave her... that lead her believe she was special.. a lie of course.. there she is looking up at the stars with tears running down her cheeks... yes so brave.. and oh so broken.. Only time. and her friend Fonce will be able to piece her back together.. cause Fonce knows.. and only Fonce can place her back in one piece again.. And that will be hard.. because he does not yet know she is broken.
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