As I work on this patch.. I have to think on things I have heard or been taught.. that all our emotions are learned as children.. to love to hate to fear to be scared.. Our parents guide us in many directions.. but I wonder what of those children who have no parents.. who teaches them? When I think of the person this blanket is for.. I try and wonder what his life was like as a child.. I don't know who raised him, but I do not think it was his parents.. There seems to be some pieces missing inside his mind that he fails to connect to.. maybe its by choice.. maybe its out of fear.. Maybe those pieces were not nurtured and feed. and they withered without use... I am not sure... as I sit and think of him as a man.. I can see a scared child hiding inside his soul.. Its as if he wants to reach out and touch something he sees but pulls back and goes back into the dark crevice he hides in.. I have heard that this man has a very mean streak, yet I have never felt it or witnessed it.. I have seen it bubble to the surface when he is driven to the point of where one feeling should take over but fails to.. normally he leaves when this happens.. So as I think of him, what he might have been like as a child. I can feel the tears of sadness fill my eyes... I have to wipe them several times.. as I work on the piece of leather.. I lean over my work.. a single bead very small almost unseen is sewn in place.. amongst the dyed black square... I see him as laws, rigid with no gray ... And so that little seed.. is the gray that he lacks.. the ability to blend all his emotions good and bad.. that make us human.. love, hate, sadness, lonliness, peace.. fear... peace... but before I sew this square into his place.. I will seek him out and talk with him.. to see if I am right or wrong.. but for now.. I must seek my furs.. Sleep comes to quickly and then the dream..
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